


For after the storms passes

by i_like_my_eggs_benedict



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Coming Out, Happy Ending, Langa needs help, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29876256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_like_my_eggs_benedict/pseuds/i_like_my_eggs_benedict
Summary: “You like that person, don’t you?”“. . . yeah.”Whatever Langa pictured his coming out would be like, it definitely wasn’t this. But he seems to be finding more and more lately that his expectations never seem to align with what reality has in store for him. He certainly didn’t expect his mom to put the pieces together before he even tried to broach the subject.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 151





	For after the storms passes

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this between the hours of midnight and 3am. Pls don't judge too harshly. I'll probably come back and clean it up later.

Langa hadn’t planned on coming out to his mom any time soon.

It’s not that he was trying to hide it from her exactly. He wasn’t ashamed or even worried about how she would react. As avoidant as it might sound, it just wasn’t the time - and he didn’t know when it would be. They’d had to deal with a lot of change recently: with his dad, with the move, the new apartment, the new job. He knew his mom had a lot on her mind already, despite what she said. So he had just been particularly cautious recently regarding how much his mom was privy to the exact nature of his relationship with Reki. Not that there was a “relationship” to speak of necessarily. Especially not right now.

He and Reki passed for “normal” friends to an outside observer, with Langa’s lack of social graces easily accounting for any less-than-average behaviour on his part. But he was aware that anyone spending enough time around them could probably pick up on what his deal was pretty quickly.

He remembers one time getting a scrape on his forearm at “S” and Cherry, being nearby, offered a bandage he had on him. It was a quick fix, a shallow abrasion that Langa could easily cover up and get on with skating. But he turned Cherry down, saying he could have Reki patch it up with the first aid kit they shared. Cherry looked rather confused, insisting it was no problem, which in turn had Langa also insisting that he really should go see Reki about it. The matter was only resolved when Joe skidded up beside Cherry.

“He said he wants to go see Reki, four-eyes,” Joe stated firmly.

Cherry immediately rounded on him, a sharp rebuttal on his tongue, but he went silent and still once meeting Joe’s oddly steady gaze. He stared at Joe for a moment, then glanced at Langa, then back to Joe again. He closed his mouth and cleared his throat as he turned back to face Langa once more.

“My apologies. Yes, I think you should go see Reki about that. I’m sure he’ll be happy to assist.” And with a polite nod, Cherry took off towards the track looking probably the most flustered Langa had ever seen him. Joe lingered, and Langa met his pointed gaze for a moment before he too took off in the other direction, leaving Langa to seek out Reki and ponder the fact that if Joe had apparently caught on somewhere along the way, he had probably been pretty obvious.

Needless to say, Langa lacked subtlety. It wasn’t exactly an accident that Reki had never been invited over to Langa’s apartment. His mother would surely gush and with Langa being...well, Langa, the jig would be up at that point. There’s no way the person who’s known him literally his entire life would fail to notice his very not-inconspicuous behavior.

So no, he wasn’t trying to hide anything from her. He just didn’t want to add anything unnecessary on top of the rest of the things she was dealing with. He was dealing with it just fine himself.

Or at least he was.

When Reki first began feeling distant, Langa was sure that he could fix it himself. He was convinced that he knew how to get Reki to talk, no matter how resistant he usually was initially. He just had to keep pushing, keep approaching and leaving the door open in case Reki finally decided to walk through and tell Langa what was up.

When Reki eventually did let loose, it wasn’t exactly how Langa had expected it to go. In hindsight, he doesn’t really know what he expected. But it wasn’t the anger that he got. Or the fact that that anger seemed directed at him. Or even worse, the more prevalent feelings of hurt and fear that turned Reki’s usually-smiling face into something Langa didn’t recognize.

He hated seeing that even more than the anger, because anger he knew how to fix. He knew he had promised Reki he wouldn’t skate with Adam, and Langa knew he was being selfish thinking that Reki would eventually come around simply because Langa asked him to. And as much as Reki was definitely angrier than he thought he would be about that broken promise, a decent apology and some time for Reki to see his reasoning and Langa was sure it would be fine.

But the fear and hurt, he didn’t know where it was coming from. So he didn’t know how to fix that. He didn’t know what to do to make Reki smile at him again.

But he continued to try and convince himself he could. Even though it hurt. Even when he went home that night still in his soaking wet clothes and cried quietly in his room, feeling the loneliest he’d felt since he lost his dad. Even when his attempts at conversation went ignored while they sat less than a foot apart, and Reki’s absence from “S” left him feeling uncomfortable and empty every night.

He kept leaving the door open. Kept waiting for Reki to finally walk through.

It was only when he had the horrifying thought that Reki might never walk through, and that things had just been getting worse and might never get better again that he realized maybe he couldn’t fix this on his own.

Asking anyone from “S” felt wrong, all of them too caught up in their own personal agendas regarding Adam and the tournament to have an unbiased insight into Reki’s feelings. And sitting across from his mother at the dinner table, Langa’s nerves were beginning to fray with desperation and hopelessness.

He compliments her food without really thinking about it. “You think so?” she says happily. She continues chattering on, but trails off without Langa really noticing. He isn’t sure what response he was hoping to get, but that wasn’t it. He tries again.

“Hey, Mom.”

“What is it?” she replies.

He realizes he’s trying to reach out to her. Ask for her help. And simultaneously realizes he doesn’t actually know how to.

He always felt comfortable around his mom, her presence giving him a sense of normalcy and certainly amid change and confusion. He had never felt the need to reach out to her for help before, actually priding himself on that fact over the course of the last few months - the fact that he hadn’t been a burden and she could focus on herself without worrying about him. He realized now that that was probably a stupid thought to have. She was his mom, she was going to worry about him no matter what.

“Will it be sunny tomorrow?” That doesn’t feel right either, and he immediately wants to try again. Luckily his mom doesn’t respond, giving him time to think through what exactly he wants to say.

“Hey, Mom…”

“Yes?”

He blinks down at his half-eaten dinner. “I kinda screwed up. And I’m being avoided.”

He doesn’t look back up at her, but he hears her sigh. A soft, calm sigh that he’s heard her make whenever he comes out of his room in the morning still half-asleep and wearing his shirt inside-out. It instantly loosens the knot in his chest that he hadn’t even realized was there before now.

“I had something similar happen to me,” she remarks casually.

At this, Langa looks up. “Really?”

“You just keep missing each other. But neither of you are in the wrong.”

“No,” Langa says immediately. He knows that’s not right. “It was my fault for breaking our promise.” For really the first time since Langa let Reki walk away the other night, the gravity of just how in the wrong he is settles like a suffocating weight on his chest. He knew it was selfish, and he was aware of how much he was going in direct opposition to what he promised Reki, but he did it anyway and expected Reki to just . . . understand.

That still didn’t explain why Reki looked so broken though, or why he still couldn’t get Reki to look at him or talk to him beyond a short greeting. And it didn’t help him get any closer to knowing what to do about it.

“I think it’s best if you were honest with your feelings,” his mom says.

He looks back up at her, her expression so warm and comforting he immediately wants to hold on to it like his only lifeline in the middle of a storm. She seems so calm and reassuring, he wonders if he was explaining this situation well enough. He had no previous reference to go by, having never had a conversation like this with her. And he’d also be lying if he said a part of him wasn’t still trying to keep the details of his exact feelings towards Reki and the depth of his hurt close to his chest.

“Honest?” he echoes back at her, a bit confused.

“You like that person, don’t you?”

And just like that, Langa’s world tips on its axis for a moment.

“Huh?” he yelps reflexively out of shock. He quickly averts his gaze. “Well . . .” What does he say? Does he deny? He honestly doesn’t think he could without it being super obvious he’s lying straight to his mother’s face. It also seems a bit pointless. She said it with so much certainty and so little judgement or worry that Langa replays the conversation over again wondering what gave him away. He was even more obvious than he thought if she caught on so quick.

His mind races, but in the end he supposes it doesn’t matter if she already knows. And in this moment, he realizes just how badly he’s wanted to tell her. After years of knowing he liked boys, and now months of knowing Reki and wanting so badly to tell his mom all about this amazing new person that’s kept him grounded and happy practically since they got here, it’s almost scary how effortlessly it slips out of his mouth.

“. . . yeah.”

Whatever Langa pictured his coming out would be like, it definitely wasn’t this. But he seems to be finding more and more lately that his expectations never seem to align with what reality has in store for him. He certainly didn’t expect his mom to put the pieces together before he even tried to broach the subject.

“Why don’t you honestly relay your emotions?” his mother offers, still as unfazed as she was when the conversation started, a complete contrast to everything swirling in Langa’s mind at that very moment.

Well, he thinks, I guess we’re talking about it now. “No way. That’s too embarrassing.” He pictures managing to get Reki - still mad at him - to talk to him alone, and saying out loud the words, “I like you.” Langa is hit with the urge to crawl under the table.

“You have to act on it,” she continues, giving a big thumbs-up, “if you really care about her!”

A silence falls over the dinner table.

“Her?” Langa asks, perhaps the most lost he’s felt since this conversation began, which is saying a lot.

His mother’s face falls into something more akin to what Langa is feeling at the moment - confusion.

“Huh?” she says.

“Huh?” he says back.

More silence follows, this time deafening in Langa’s ears as he watches horrified as a wave of realization comes over his mother’s face.

Langa replays their conversation over once more in his head as he realizes not once did he mention he was talking about Reki. He had just made the assumption that his mom knew who he was talking about from the start. After all, Reki was literally the only person he hung out with outside of school. The person whose house he was at more than his own, the reason he stayed out so late every night, the reason he texted his mom that he was going to miss dinner because he was eating with him instead.

He’s such an idiot.

He quickly pushes out of his chair. “Um, never mind!” He practically runs to the sink with his plate of dinner that he’s not even close to being done with. Stupid, stupid! He should have just pretended she was right, played it off and let her make her own assumptions!

He’s desperately running through every possible scenario that can get him out of this kitchen as soon as humanly possible when his mother speaks again.

“Langa.”

He freezes, unable to turn around and look at her.

“Please sit down.” It doesn’t sound like a command. It sounds more like a gentle plea, and all of the sudden Langa’s eyes sting.

He slowly returns to his seat, still refusing to meet her gaze.

They sit like that in silence again for what feels like a torturously long time to Langa. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to do, and honestly considers running out the front door and not looking back for about 30 seconds before dismissing the thought - but just barely. It had all seemed so simple a minute ago, when his first admission out loud of his feelings for Reki passed through his lips as easy as water. He should have known. It could never be that easy.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly.

Langa looks up in shock. “. . . what?”

As strange as it seems, seeing her now . . . his mom probably looks the most vibrant that Langa’s seen her in a long time.

Langa always thought over the past few months that his mom must be so tired. After all, there’s so much going on in their lives and yet seemingly nothing at all. He assumed it must be so exhausting - part of why he had been so careful and holding back around her. It strikes him in this moment that that was perhaps unfair to her and maybe even a little dismissive.

“I’m sorry,” she repeats, her brows drawn tight but downcast. “I didn’t listen to you. I heard you but I didn’t listen.”

Langa is at a loss for words. He opens his mouth but immediately shuts it.

She continues. “You know, after your father passed, I was so worried I wouldn’t be able to be there for you when you needed me. You were so close - in a different way than we are - and you were so quiet after he . . .”

As she trails off, Langa grips the edge of the table tight enough to hurt.

Her mouth gets tight and she visibly swallows before cracking a big smile lined with pain. “As a parent you try so hard to prepare for every possibility, be ready to be the best at everything, but it still somehow never turns out how you expect.” She seems to be half talking to herself, but Langa still listens. “I want so badly for you to be happy here, to find a sense of normalcy and sources of joy, and to think that you found it already and I didn’t even realize . . .”

She trails off again, but this time with a breathy laugh that sounds so genuinely happy that Langa’s eyes sting again and he finds it difficult to swallow.

“You did,” Langa says softly. So softly he worries she didn’t hear him. “You did realize.” He doesn’t quite know how to elaborate further, and just hopes she understands.

She looks at him with wide, watery eyes, then reaches over the table to take one of his hands in hers. Langa stares down at their hands sitting clasped together on their small dining table and wonders at how he missed the fact that his mom had also found her own happiness and sense of normalcy since they had gotten here.

He hears her sniff and looks back up to see her deftly wiping away a tear, before she settles into a wholly relaxed and frankly overjoyed expression.

“So,” she starts, “What’s his name?”

Langa can feel his face turning pink, reeling at the roller-coaster of emotions the past five minutes have been, but following his mother’s lead.

“Reki.” He has to clear his throat after he feels how tight his throat’s become.

“Is he cute?”

His throat-clearing turns into a violent coughing fit as he swallows the wrong way. “Mom!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” She looks terribly pleased with herself as she picks back up her utensils and begins finishing off her dinner. “Now bring your plate back here and finish your supper. I didn’t slave over the stove for you to not have your usual three servings.”

And Langa does just that, taking a long swig of his water while he’s at it.

For the first time in the past week, Langa genuinely feels like things will turn out okay. He feels rejuvenated and unburdened of thoughts and feelings that he realizes he hadn’t needed to carry in the first place. This was perhaps not how or when he had wanted to talk to his mother about this, but as she continues to casually chatter away to Langa over dinner in their little apartment in Okinawa, he can honestly say he wouldn’t have changed a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I publish this at 4am the night before episode 9 drops? Maybe. Am I projecting onto Langa to work through my own coming-out trauma? I'll never tell ;)
> 
> But fr tho something about these gay skater boys has got me losing it. This show got me to actually write fic for the first time in years. I truly have not felt this feral since Yuri on Ice and I'm low-key scared. Pls hold me.


End file.
